My introduction to FNAF was when I was a freshly 12 and shortly after my parents divorce via King of FNAF himself, Markiplier. I was quite excited when the movie was announced but by the time it came out I was no longer Freddy brained. However, this did not diminish my excitement for this movie and still can't even believe its a real film now. It's surreal in a good way. It didn't help that Matthew Lillard was attached to the project, therefore it became a QUICK must watch bad or not.

Now, FNAF fans have been rather guarded about this movie. I get it. Even I eye-roll the picky critics. I hate people tearing the movie down for being plot heavy with the humans or being PG-13. Or even that it didn't explain the games lore or something. Look I've heard whispers of the IGN review being nearly on the level of 'Too Much Water' and I'm not entertaing them by rage-reading an article, I have better shit to do.

I think this is actually one of the better PG-13 horror films and I won't pretend to say that Blumhouse isn't filling that market with at least fun to watch and decent quality movies for 13+ kiddies who want horror. I knew what I was getting into. I don't think I would've liked a R-Rated FNAF in the same way I wouldn't like an R-Rated Gremlins. There is value to be had in horror for children even if the market is oft filled with eye-brow raising people...ahem Poppy Playtime and BanBan devs.

But this isn't a wax of poetics or some sort of 'I'm better than the masses who whine' or even some essay on the state of horror for kids, this is about Five Night Feddy.

I enjoyed the film greatly! I was invested from the start and enjoyed the care that was put into the film, it's clear that they wanted to make this a delight to fans. While there are pacing issues and narratives that get jumbled up, I do think the movie should have had at least 2 hours and 30 minutes more of run time to help smooth that out, I won't even pretend that I care all that much.

It's not peak-cinema nor is it a blow out, it's feel good. It's healing. There is something that feels so delightful to have a movie that is fun, tacky, cheesy, goofy. It even at times to me danced that PG-13 rating line with the getting chomped in half death. Its a fun easy watch that can be enjoyed by a wide audience.

For me, I am simply happy Vanessa has a clearer cut connection to William being his daughter and the spirit of Golden Freddy his son. It helps smooth out some of the lore out and I honestly prefer it, if anything, I think the movie timelines lore thus far has re-newed my interest in FNAF and I truly hope that 3 movie deal goes through.

William only book-ended the film but Lillard's performance was perfectly un-nerving, obvious, but even still it was not comfortable seeing that sharp turn he took in Mike after finding out his last name and connection to his brother. The springlock scene was rather gruesome for how minimal blood and gore was there, the creaking of metal was rather haunting.

Mike and Abbey were fun characters, the story of the custody battle stung for me personally as you could probably tell from the opening of this ramble, I was deeply invested on where it would go but wished there were higher stakes at some point in the movie. Mike's PTSD and Survivors guilt ran close to home with the vivid dreams and revisting, in fact I've been having my own vivid dreams of recent.

Like I said, not high art. Not the shocking best movie of 2023, but a gem for horror lovers and horror kiddies a like. It's not too scary but just tense enough.

With that. Sparky the Dog real and canon. thank you.