HISTORY

I grew up in the residuals of a roman catholic family on my fathers side, mostly from my grandmother, I oft disdained attending church as a mere concept growing up and was stubborn about it. Threw hissy fits about it, even locked myself in my room about it on the day it was brought up to me and cried. My father wasn't having any of it and therefore never attended a single day of sunday morning service. He'd been through that hellish childhood and he wasn't letting it happen to me.

All of that perchance because I had a small interest in the Bible itself. I still even have my Verse-a-Night book and our...hurk King James Bible...yuck.

However in irony, I did attend church services due to one of my friends and her fathers. By that you see, I only ever went to church with LGBT people, and the people there did not see my friends family as lesser. Obviously, I was on guard as I was away from my parents and my general anxiety around people made it hard as hell to stay comfortable. I still look rather fondly of those times, hell even wish to re-visit that church for the hell of it but its in the heart of the state and truth be told, I'm not going to my fucking capital to attend A Single Sermon.

It's due to this experience my feelings of attending Church were changed, I even yearn for the quite morning comfort of the church. I don't find myself all to comfortable with the scripture or music [I often have second hand embarrassment from the latter] but enjoy the silence of prayer. This isn't to say I like Christianity, though my complex emotions about it are from the radicals over the common person. Love my respectful and loving Christians.

My exposure to Anderson was around this time of around 2011, I initially was an Alucard Girlie but found myself more drawn to Anderson as I grew older. He was big and scary but had a soft side I could not resist melting to. Getting into Hellsing proper few years later proved to me that I was invested with him. I found it odd in 2011, being that I was atheist by that time thought that didn't stop me from being scared of thunderstorms and asking god to stop bowling since that's what my grandma told me thunderstorms were.

In my first proper dive into the series, I grew obsessed with the concept of Mirror Imagery in rival designs or sibling designs [See: Aerith and Sephiroth being siblings] due to Anderson and Alucard. Alucard is red while Anderson is blue, Alucard uses guns Anderson uses Bayonets, and to my as of now typing I think his history being so unknown while Alucards reaffirms the roles they are to play when the roles they play are never all too clear.

I don't ship AnderCard but I understand it DEEPLY, they are the perfect foils to each other, tailored to be enemies. May not be a shipper of it but if you do I respect you.

However ramble heavy this gets, my relationship with Anderson feels like the part of me who yearns for a polar opposite in a man, I'm obviously NOT Christian and take part in Satanic Panic Warned activities every waking hour. I'm the spitting image of that era minus the active satan-worshipping, I'm not even religious enough to praise Lucifer...shame innit. I find myself disappointed at the lack of proper background on Anderson, I don't take ANGELDUST as gospel and prefer some of the lore of the TV Anime instead. I find myself giddy anytime I see him and often am just happy to see him acknowledged in anyway. Despite his key-role even with minimal apperances, he is one of my top favorite characters.

And yes I do fixate on all of Iscariot.