Woof. What a month.

It's been an awful awful month, I thought I was having a fibromyalgia episode but it turns out it was the flu turning my lower back skin and muscles into things of hate and pain. I was stuck in bed a lot and found myself having horrific dreams. Worse yet, I got sick after a really bad day and I just...god.

It's times like these that remind me I rely on myself too much and feel like I have no one. It's not that I don't have anyone, I just convince myself so deeply that it becomes overwhelming. I hate venting on the internet, I used to do it all the time cause mentally ill tumblr teen syndrome but I suppose it's less me posting mid-freak out now and more "damn this sucked but worst of it's over."

As an addition, almost all of my friends are being put through it right now. From Cons to Literal Tax Extortion. Speaking of the latter, PLEASE consider donating or spreading this gofundme. It'd mean a lot to her and her grandmother. Life is cruel enough to disabled elders and their disabled families. Trust me I could go on a whole tirade about anti-captialism and my hatred of taxation and so much more but I'm already in a rough mood so better leave it at that, ey?

The worst thing though is that I'm stuck in an unreality episode? Dissociating? Out of Body? It's hard to describe aside from just saying that I feel so unreal and bordering on apathy.

Though, the silver lining, is that I do have means of grounding it just blows that if it starts it's too late and sometimes I'll be up and out for hours. It's so frustrating.

Otherwise with this month being so shit, I've nothing to really speak on the site! I was going to rework the sephiroth shrine and potentially re-open the template page but of course we have been delayed.

Most of the interesting stuff is that now that I'm better, I've been indulging in rail shooters, doctor who a touch, horror games and gorey oddities, and of course kitties. I know I'll get back on it soon, but it seems this was a crash a looong time coming.

Hope this month treated you ravers better than it has me. Just a few more days til payday and I feel that we've reset proper. Take care of yourselves and make sure not to get sick! It sucks and blows and is stupid >:P